you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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