he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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