Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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