so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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