Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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