the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
