I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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