We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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