Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I died a long time ago.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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