someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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