were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
