I look better un-naked...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
