we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
