i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
