According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How external is "for external use only"?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
