I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
