Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
