Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
