toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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