I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
