Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
im on a boat
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