Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize