Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize