if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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