I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
