At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
