i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize