The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
