I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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