Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
