he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Of course I have a pirate flag
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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