vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
