ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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