Dual....:-)
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
