oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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