if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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