I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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