I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
