Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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