If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
