I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
