mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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