She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
