we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize