I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
