We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
