Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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