he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
