I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
