I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
