Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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