My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There r osticjed everywhere
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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