super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
