WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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