why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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