Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize