2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
