thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
