i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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