this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
