My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
