I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wish there were birth control emojis
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
