I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
