Cold hands, warm shart.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
