What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize