Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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