mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
